I used to be a member of this club.

One married lady might say: I’d have to go to a seminar to learn how to use a remote. I’ve never had the opportunity to use ours.

Another would bemoan:  I should just record everything—our whole life. He says he’s absolutely positive that I didn’t tell him things that we both know I’ve told him. Or things happen and he says they didn’t.

Another might bitch: I made a list of 8 items, and he still forgot to get the eggs, which he knew was the main thing we needed! 8 items! On a list!

When I’d chime in with my Thank God for commercials or he’d never listen to anything I say or some other affectionate domestic complaint, I was really saying:

            I always felt left out when everyone was dating but me. When I finally met someone and got married, I was so happy to be accepted to this club, where we love our husbands even with their faults and have that camaraderie whenever there are wives together. It’s a Girl’s Night Out feeling—anytime, anywhere.

 

Now, the guy who tuned me out while watching TV for 25 years says he didn’t hear anything I said for the 8 sessions of marital counseling we had before he quit. When did things stop being cute? When did the endearing things turn ominous in hindsight?

Since I’m not in the club anymore, should I f**k with the remaining members just for the hell of it?

Married Lady One: I’d have to go to a seminar to learn how to use a remote. I’ve never had the opportunity to use ours.

Me: Wow, he sounds so possessive. You feel safe with him, right? Oh, he’s probably OK.

Married Lady Two: I should just record everything—our whole life. He says he’s absolutely positive that I didn’t tell him things that we both know I’ve told him. Or things happen and he says they didn’t.

Me: I know. It does make you wonder when your husband isn’t truthful, but he probably just fudges the truth so he doesn’t hurt your feelings about certain things because he loves you so much.

Married Lady Three: I made a list of 8 items, and he still forgot to get the eggs, which he knew was the main thing we needed! 8 items! On a list!

Me: Wow, I’m not trying to scare you—I’m just telling you this to keep you safe— but I read an article recently that forgetting stuff like that is often an early indication of some serious cognitive deterioration. Something about more and more cases of people leaving stoves and irons on. Those people weren’t from around here, though.

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