As an ex-Catholic, I sure miss Lent. We found out eventually that the spirit of Lent was really about doing something positive, but in the beginning it was all about giving up something. I used it to get in shape for swimsuit season. I don’t know if that’s what the nuns were doing, but I’d even go so far as not eating sweets on any day during Lent including Sunday, which was the day on which you weren’t required to abstain.

Now I’m out of the Church and out of my healthy weight range.

The problem with giving up structure is you can go too far. I still believe in God. But God has become a spiritual force in the universe, not the blonde Jesus on the calendar looking down during March who would be disappointed in me for sucking the filling out of a Twinkie. My new ethereal God is too vague to get me going. In theory, I could be calling upon this God to help me see the beauty of eating healthy portions of nutritious foods and other foods in moderation. But this God is like a hippie trying to help you with your 401K.

Well, it looks like my health is my responsibility now. Ain’t that a bitch? You’d think Hippie God would do something for me, though. Maybe encourage more incense and fewer peppermints when I throw together an Easter basket for myself this year?

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