Weddings are so organized. That’s why there are wedding planners. To make sure the flowers get in the proper vases and the person carrying the bride’s train is standing in the right spot.

Divorces must be unorganized. At least mine seems to be. I’m getting dates that should be on Mondays called Thursdays from my lawyer’s office. County agencies are giving me the wrong info on the phone. Filing for alimony was a last-minute add-on. Call me File-zilla, but the consequences of screwing things up in this arena seem more significant than carnations where the lilies should be.

But someday I’ll be divorced happily ever after and none of this will make any difference.