Tomorrow is Independence Day in the U.S. We who are in the throes of divorce get really symbolic during this time. At least becoming independent via divorce is a nicer path out than the one in the Martina McBride video.

My problem, if it is one, is that I tend to be a Loyalist. The other day, a friend said a really funny thing about my STBX. It was really funny but really cutting, and my gut reaction was to defend my STBX and to not make fun of him. But she said what she said to stick up for me, and he would never hear the joke. And it was SO FUNNY!

He signed a paper with horrible, untrue allegations, and my heart is telling me to protect him.

The Loyalists during the Revolutionary War did not have any gripe with English rule. Or maybe, like me, some of them didn’t realize that things were bad. I mean, my husband used to make me pay him every time I had cup of tea. Only kidding.

I think being loyal is great, but the feeling will linger toward people no longer worthy of it. I’ll just expect this, and know that I will continue treating my STBX with respect when he doesn’t reciprocate. Because that quality is about me. And being loyal to myself is what it’s all about.