How’s your daughter?

Hangin’ in there.

Do you have a recent picture of her?

Oh, no!! Aaahhhhhh! I’m a bad mother. I used to be a good mother. I used to have up-to-date pictures of my daughter back when people still had pictures in their wallets. Wallets used to come with places for pictures. Why do I have an expired coupon for 15 cents off of salsa in my wallet but no picture of the human who means the most to me in the world???

Um, no. I gave away all her wallet-size school pictures. They’re so old anyway. I have to print some of the newer pics—the ones from our trip. They’re still on my camera. I should have taken a picture of her on my phone. But, wait! I could describe her to you. She has brown hair. No, wait, I could draw a picture of her. Do you have a pen? Wait, markers would be better. I can find something to draw on. Here, the back of this would be good. Do you have a set of markers on you? Her hair has a few shades of brown. It would be better if you had a deluxe set of markers with more than one shade of brown in it…