Today I met with the legal assistant to start preparing for the mediation. After discussing bank accounts, retirement plans, etc. and clarifying some other issues, we decided it would make better sense for me to take the worksheet home to list and assign values to all the stuff, since I make a few dollars less an hour than legal counsel does. I’m supposed to imagine what each item would be worth at a yard sale. I don’t go to yard sales, so I’ll think of Goodwill pricing, I guess.

Other than making sure that the things my daughter wants are addressed, this whole thing of talking about pricing stuff makes me physically sick. It just so cheapens my effort to build a life.

When discussing valuables and pricing them, I asked about my wedding ring. I said it was worth $0 to me. So she said, “Then give it to him.” That’s when I realized the value I think that ring would be to him. I thought of the value of me that he’s discarding.

So I will have my worksheet filled out within a week, complete with all the horrible nickel and diming that will get me one step closer to getting through this. Table in den $5. End table in living room $40. But among all this necessary coldness and bullshit, I will put:

Asset: Woman’s wedding ring, 24 carat white gold with special inscription

To Be Distributed to: Husband

Estimated Value: Priceless

Then I’ve zeroed out the ledger balance. Then I can move on.