Today I will not be sitting in the front row of chairs. There will be no body in a casket. No one will say “I’m so sorry for your loss” because when did he die? Did he die slowly? Did he ever exist?

They will not say that at least I have my memories. I think widows probably sugarcoat a lot of the memories. What do divorced women do with theirs?

You know what people will say? That I’m in a better place.

But today I just need to have my own, illogical private funeral.