Employers are supposed to have measurable goals for employees as they work toward objectives. You know, so your boss doesn’t say you’re not doing your job well because there’s something about the way you move your head that subconsciously reminds him of the third-grade teacher who threw his Buzz Lightyear in the trash.

I’m glad I didn’t have to do an end-of-year work plan for my main job: living my life. I don’t have measurable goals. I don’t have objectives. I have vague ideas, inklings, and certain resolutions. That’s it.

That’s why I’m happy I still haven’t beaten BOP IT! Master Level with the “Shout It” button enabled. It’s a measurable goal with an objective toward which I’m actively working.

Measurable goal: 100

Objective: Hear the praise and the little song it will play