In the upcoming months, I will try to master a new behavior as I work with my ex to get this house ready to sell. My cell will ring, and an “X” will appear. I will go into the mode.

The mode is that I will have screaming feelings that I want to express, but will talk about plywood. I will be aware of every one of the feelings. I will also be aware that expressing them to the monotone voice of my ex would be masochistic. During our marriage, I had tried to make him hear me. After the separation, during the counseling (an arena where everyone’s feelings get equal status), he did not react to or even remember what I said when I cried my guts out. He quit therapy and divorced me.

He chose to end the nonresponsive program.

But I can choose not to send him the error report.