I wanted to use this product correctly, because ever since I learned that wax is flammable, I’ve had a great deal of respect for it. I learned this the easy way, years after I had flung a lot of it around a gas stove in a carefree fashion making my own candles for Christmas gifts during a layoff. In my unscientific mind, I figured wax couldn’t be that flammable since candles are around flames a lot, but it turns out that wax is highly flammable, which is why it burns so well. Nothing bad happened while I carelessly slung it over the burner time and time again singing Christmas carols, but it could have.

So when Sally Hansen said to put the cup of wax in the microwave, I was all OSHA about it. She said the little wooden spatula had secret ink in it that would say “Ready” when the wax was the right temperature. To my way of thinking, since the spatula in the box at room temperature wasn’t sending me a secret message, Sally meant it would say “Ready” when the wax it was stirring was warm enough.

Following directions, I put the cup of wax in the microwave on 50% for 90 seconds. Still solid. Then I’d put it in for a few seconds at a time and would keep checking. Still nothing from the magic spatula when I stirred the softening wax. I ended up disregarding Sally’s admonition to not exceed two minutes, but heated the cup for only a few seconds at a time. Finally, the center of the cup of wax was total liquid. Still no message.

I figured the inker had gone on break at the spatula factory when my future purchase went down the conveyer. But then I reread the directions, and for some reason the spatula was supposed to read “Ready” when the wax was cool enough to use. How could that be? So I let the wax cool down, kept stirring, but no change, so who knows if that really could be possible. Nobody communicates with me anyway. Not even a wooden stick. Back in the microwave went the cup for a few seconds, and I just put the wax over my lip when I thought it was a reasonable temperature.

The stuff worked pretty well when, once again, I didn’t follow directions and did things my own way. I ignored the prerequisite that hair needs to be 3/8” or longer for the product to work. What woman is willing to look like Hitler for that long before doing something? No, I’m not going to bleach it until it grows out. Looking like Scandinavian Hitler wouldn’t make me feel too confident, either.

I like Sally’s product, but, like everything else, it’s a workaround. No problem. As a former Vette owner (Chevette), I don’t mind wrapping a little duct tape around this or that as long as it runs. And Sally put a $1 off coupon with no expiration date for next time. I thought that was smooth. Like my upper lip.

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