Ever since I was a kid, I pictured the school week, now known as the work week, as a swim in a pool. I never was good at swimming in a pool. I love bodysurfing in the ocean. If I bump into someone, the reason is the waves. In a pool, the reason is my eyesight. Many a time as a kid, by the time I’d see the Hawaiian print looming large, it was too late. I’d crashed into someone’s dad’s swim trunks. Gross and embarrassing. 

For me, nearsightedness did not a confident swimmer make. Another problem was that my body always seemed to be half unfloatable, and I’d end up trying to maneuver through the water at a 45-degree angle.

School felt like trying to swim without a good view of what’s going on and being weighted down. Then work took on school’s role. My mental picture was always trying to get to the other side of the pool, known as the weekend. I was lucky to always have jobs where weekend work was rare.

But if something social were planned for the weekend, I didn’t get that sense of the safe edge of the pool coming up in three, two, one days.

As an older adult, knowing I am a very confident and social person, I often wondered why I never outgrew that image of swimming toward the weekend, with anxiety if it were heavily planned or involved a new social situation. When a therapist told me the following, it rang true: Extroverts recharge with people; introverts recharge when they are by themselves.

This morning I saw a commercial for the Endless Pool. The swimmer (also known to me as the victim) kept swimming and swimming and swimming…

When could she recharge?

As for me, I want four bars before the next lap.

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