During a phone call, I began half-focusing on my dark-colored kitchen countertop, that, depending upon your point of view, has the advantage or disadvantage of not showing up dirt (advantage). Suddenly, I noticed animated laminate. Next I see dozens of black ants, swarming all over a large jar of honey, trying to get in like a bunch of frustrated losers in front of Studio 54.

Excuse me. I have a calendar. Winter’s problem is that the next school make-up day will be a Saturday. Ants are a spring problem who check out the opened package of Peeps lying around because you forgot the seasons changed. What is this dishonesty?

Well, I have a disco you guys are eligible to enter. It’s a little white plastic building with many doors left over from the four-pack I bought last spring.

“It is spring,” say the ants.

“The stuff in the white thing is really good honey,” say I.

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