I haven’t been writing much. You’d think I’d be writing up a storm, since I’m struggling with feeling like I have duct tape over my mouth.

Eight hours a weekday in the most dysfunctional place I’ve ever worked. And I’ve worked in a lot of places.

Do you know how hard it is to not let the adjectives fly?

I watched some of our family video on Sunday as I was trying to fill out a medical form for my daughter that asked at what age she strung two or more words together. (Yeah, she used to do that before I got kinda boring to talk to.) On the screen I saw our family doing fun things together. Before he lied, hurt, and abandoned us.

Do you know how hard it will be when my ex calls to not let the verbs fly?

The real problem isn’t that I’m not telling off my boss or embarking upon do-it-yourself counseling to someone who doesn’t want to be married to me or be a parent. The real problem is that, after I name an emotion or realize a situation is difficult, I go right into problem-solving mode before I have a chance to feel things through. Sometimes I painfully stuggle. Redundant or not, sometimes I’m lividly angry.

Do you know how much I need to let the adverbs fly?