I have the coupon for getting the item worth up to $13 if I spend $10 or more. This would have been my usual purchase of the $10.50 body lotion and the free $12 body cream.

Before, I considered it wasting money not to do this. What has changed?

Is it that I really know I have enough of a fragrant lotion smorgasbord and don’t need any more?

Is it that I am desensitized and everything is starting to smell similar? Is it that they’re running out of different possibilities and everything is starting to smell similar?

Is it that I stopped trusting them since they described their new “Paris Amour” line as having the fragrance of tulips? I’m Dutch, so I know that tulips smell exactly like nothing.

Am I not going in there because it’s like the Night of the Living Sales Associates as soon as you enter the store?

Maybe it’s because of that incident and I care enough about others to take a stand. I swear this happened. I was in there once and the manager was giving an employee a less than stellar performance review—not in the employees-only area, but right in the middle of the store. She was telling him that he needed to be more engaging with the customers. She asked him what sparked him. He seemed like a guy who would be sparked by spark plugs– not hand lotion. But I guess, like the rest of us, he knew the state of the job market. Do you know what he said to this asshole of a supervisor? He said, and I quote this verbatim,

“Scents are fun.”

I hope that’s why I didn’t redeem the coupon.