“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”, written by Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane, keeps playing in my head.

We all have our “after the holidays” commitments waiting for our mature, back-to-work January selves. My project will be to start a new life as a divorced Jersey girl back on her home turf. I will be paying for my own health insurance, looking for a job, helping my daughter get settled and start community college in a new environment, and trying not to pump my own gas.

The night before last, while I lay in bed, I realized my December project of choosing gifts and cute stocking stuffers and baking cookies and sending sparkly cards was over, and my next project was simply to start a new life. Just coordinate leaving this life behind and initiate my new one. Logistically overwhelming at 11:30 pm, so I decided to let my heart be light, knowing that next Christmas I’d somehow would be settled in with my Jerseyites.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas;
Let your heart be light.
Next year all our troubles will be out of sight.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas;
Make the yuletide gay.
Next year all our troubles will be miles away.
Once again as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who were dear to us
Will be near to us once more.
Someday soon we all will be together
If the fates allow.
Until then, we’ll have to muddle through somehow (or Hang a shining star upon the              highest bough).
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

Well, if you feel that my thinking about my looming January/February responsibilities was a little negative, get a load of the original lyrics to this festive song:

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
It may be your last.
Next year we may all be living in the past.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
Pop that champagne cork.
Next year we may all be living in New York.
No good times like the olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who were dear to us
Will be near to us no more.
But at least we all will be together
If the Lord allows.
From now on, we’ll have to muddle through somehow.
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

What the f**k? Check out my source to see how others didn’t think it would be possible to have a “merry little Christmas” with threats like that at:

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,1569872,00.html

And if you’re muddling like me while looking forward to that shining star upon the highest bough, just be sure to have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

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