Today I went to a department store that has great shoes. I need to get interview outfits ready to go.

As I tried to make my way up and down the narrow aisles between shelves of shoe boxes, I began to do a little profiling. A walker blocked my way in the clearance aisle.

Didn’t I see a bunch of men with aviator glasses dozing on the benches outside the store? They must go with these clusters of tightly-permed gray heads huddled together. I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight playing in the background was now taking a sinister turn.

Yes, it was true. Tuesday turned out to be Senior Day, and I got 10% off with the rest of them!