When you have a child and see that look, it feels like it’s yours forever. Is it somewhere still in my teenage daughter’s eyes? Will our relationship land back on its feet when the turmoil stops?

The look in my husband’s eyes was the first thing to go when everything fell apart. It came back during his hospital stay and during the recuperation. His eyes became dead to me again.

It’s not “love”, but what about how men’s eyes looked at me in my 20’s? Now I evoke as much reaction as a chair or a box of Rice Krispies. Now that I’ve moved back, there is someone I will eventually run into who used to look at me with what I thought at the time was love. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to handle it when he sees me at 59, because I know it wasn’t love and now I will look like a chair with a box of Rice Krispies in it.

But right now, it’s the eyes in the mirror that are letting me down the most.