Just when you were starting to think I am a lazy bitch, I got a job. Today at the mall, I was asked to take part in a survey about frozen fish. I made $7 for a half-hour of work. That would have been $14 an hour—more than my last few jobs have paid—if there had been more fish questions.

Like anyone who hasn’t worked for awhile, I was all about doing a really great job. I had to look at pictures of frozen fish packaging. I discerned many a detail regarding layout, pictures, and font and expressed my emotional experience from each. I used my best vocabulary in describing my overall impression.

My daughter was in another room doing chocolate. She only made $5 in the form of a Barnes and Noble gift certificate. But she got to taste the chocolate.

Well, time to update my resume.