A couple of weeks ago I went to a “Divorced and Separated” meeting, since I qualify as both. I really enjoyed it. A lot of humor, directness, practicality, and openness. And a lot of people—at least 25 of us showed up!

I find myself in a good place. My ex and the divorce story are becoming irrelevant. I’m seeing where I am as a starting point. I’d felt kicked to the curb. Now I see curb appeal.

In thinking about the group, a funny image occurred to me. Like the parallel universe in the original Star Trek series episode, I pictured my group’s exes sitting around in another multipurpose room somewhere with equal amounts of the hurt, anger, fear, and confusion that my group experiences. Of course, that would never happen in real life because it is unusual for both people in a defunct couple to be introspective enough to join such a group, but it got me thinking of right vs. wrong. Although I know that nothing is 100%, my ex and I both think we are “right”.

So, for argument’s sake and since this is my blog, let’s just say he’s “wrong”. Wouldn’t that make me “wronged”?

That status might be OK for the short-term, but it’s a pretty weak position on which to base my future.

So when I go back to that group this week, it’s not to complain as a victim. It’s a chance to hang out with people I have something in common with, like the camaraderie that franchisers feel at a Stanley Steemer convention.

Being divorced and separated is feeling more like an opportunity than a problem.

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