I know that corporate law dictates whether a business is “limited” or “unlimited”, but when one of the words appears in the business name, what message is it sending?

I came across a business called Limited Unlimited and another named Unlimited Limited during a Google search. They would be sending a message that they were going to f**k with your head. I never felt that The Limited in the mall would be an exciting shopping experience. Too limiting. Since I hate to shop, I would probably stay out of any store called The Unlimited. There’s no pleasing me.

Back in our rural Southern town, the grandmother of a kid in my daughter’s class had a beauty shop called Styles Unlimited. The hand-painted, wooden sign that hung in front of her house never changed, so I assume she never ran out of hairstyles. I find this hard to believe, though. Why would every woman over 60 have the same hairstyle in our town if there were an infinity of choices?

This was the hairstyle: A round head of gray seafoam that clings to the head like a halo, to which weather of any sort will not affect in the least.

While waiting to get my hair cut in another establishment, I watched the beautician that had the older clientele. This is how it’s done:

  1. Tightly perm the hair
  2. Gently comb out the individual little curls.
  3. Tease the hell out of the roots of the individual little curls.
  4. Spray the hell out of the whole head and anybody in the waiting area.
  5. Take a large comb and kind of get the curls en masse until the Oliver Cromwell look is achieved.

I’m 59 and don’t dye my hair. I got out of that town just in time.