I thought it was cute—the Downward-facing Squirrel yoga poses at the birdseed feeder. I didn’t know that continually refilling it for all creatures great and small (but not as small as hummingbirds) wasn’t enough. To cap off your seed orgy, you wanted dessert. You figured out how to adapt and gorge yourselves on the one and only food the poor hummingbirds eat. Like the carnivorous, ham-sandwich-ordering assholes at the seminar who, just for a change of pace, woof down the two vegetarian boxed lunches before the two vegetarians even have a chance to get into line, it was all about you.

Look at what you’ve done! Is this your version of finding out that a bottle of soda doesn’t have a twist-off cap and there is no opener in the drawer? The sugar-water sure came out faster after you ate half of the feeder, huh? Maybe my half-gallon of Edy’s Caramel Delight would be more satisfying to me if I used the snow shovel.

Well, we humans have evolved to use a little tool called the Internet and now I know about it. Now I know all about the squirrel baffle.

So prepare to be baffled when the next hummingbird feeder goes up. See if you can evolve past that with some advanced squirrel yoga.

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