Claudia, thank you for calling Positive Eating. Please listen carefully, as our menu has changed.

If there’s low fat ice cream in the freezer, it can be consumed gradually.

If you’re watching TV, that’s an activity. It doesn’t have to be combined with eating.

If you’re not hungry, and you won’t be in a situation where you’ll be unable to eat when you do finally get hungry, don’t eat (I am not diabetic).

If you need to speak to an operator, it’s you. Ask yourself, “Am I eating for the wrong reasons?”

If you screw up, please forgive yourself and return to the main menu.

To better serve you, please have healthful food readily available for the next snack craving.

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Thank you for continuing making the healthy food choices that you do.

♪♫ ♪♫      ♪♫  ♪     ♪ ♪♪ (cell-phone-quality hold music)

I’m sorry, but all types of advertising are busy tempting others, but if you stay on track, you’ll serve yourself something delicious and nutritious as soon as you really want it.