I’m sorry if that last post seemed a little negative. My attitude toward the upcoming job fair is more upbeat.

In today’s job market, you need a plan. As the library removes the roof to make room for the ferris wheel, I’m preparing my strategy.

If I have a choice of whether the recruiter guesses my weight, age, or month of birth, I will keep in mind that it is illegal to consider the impact that the poundage of a prospective employee might have on the group’s health insurance, as would not hiring her because of age. Being a bullheaded Taurus is not something to brag about when cooperation is key to success in the workplace.

I’m a good aim at squirting water into the clown’s mouth until the balloon pops, so I’m confident that I could eventually win one of the jobs on the top shelf rather than settle for one the cheaply-paid lower ones after just one win. As tempting as a big SpongeBob would be, I came here to secure employment, and I will stay on track. It’s hard to feel sorry for funnel-cake eating people holding goldfish in Ziploc bags who will complain the next morning that they can’t find a job in this economy after there were so many opportunities at the job fair.

As confident as I am, it may be a bit unnerving to see how other candidates are competing. Wow, look at that giant pumpkin! And sewing an apron by hand is no small accomplishment.

But we all have our talents to make the world a better place.

Back to those thirsty clowns I will go.